Guilty

Rejected and despized
Not seen and heard
Giving out of the infinite
endless love that giving is

I now know what is the matter with me …

I am guilty of love ……

Nothingness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgyGa_tgNu8&feature=channel

… that it is the nothingness, born out of trust, which the horses follow …

Nothingness
always present
sometimes burried
under blinding somethingness

Emptiness
always present
sometimes burried
under deafening fullness

Born from nothingness and emptiness
you walk your way
over mountains and through valleys
to find you again
where you never left
in nothingness and emptiness …

Loosing

How can you ever loose
what you have never owned?

How can you be lost
when you were never there?

What you have never owned
you can never loose

You can not ever be
what words describe for you

You can only ever Be,
lost in You …

 

 

Love and sex

Who did ever tell you
that love had anyhting to do with sex?

Who did ever tell you
that love had anything to do with troth?

Who did ever tell you
that love had anyhting to do with form?

I am about to tell you
that this is not the truth,
that this is just a story
that people used to tell

The love you’re looking for
can not be found outside
The love you’re looking for
is the essence of your soul

This is a whole new story
that is the truth, perhaps.
It’s not possible to believe this
One day you can just BE it …

Let go

When time has come
And you have set you free
I will just once look back
and then I’ll go my way

I do my chores
And sometimes I look up
As if I heard a sound
That sounded just like you

No expectations, no desire,
And in my heart the knowing
That if you want to come to me
You will find the way

And there you were,
panting and full of sweat
So proud that you have made it
Through the wide and scary world

I love you when you leave
And love you when you come
Because I know that that
Takes place in what I am …

Come and go

You came and went
and sometimes I believed
that you would only come
and never go away

And suddenly I understood
that coming here and going there
are one and the same, of course,
that no one comes or goes

That I’m the space in which
the coming and the going passes
That I’m not that what comes and goes
that I am that what is …

Lovestory

You never ever hurt me
Although I did believe that
What I told me about you
That hurt-ed so intense

Now finally all my stories
Returned to where they came from
And warm light winds start whispering
The new ones in my ears

Soft rains fall now upon me
And cherish and caress me
And new words gentle land
In open fertile soil …

Christmas story

It was Christmas Eve and you came to me. It was a cold and clear night, stars at the sky and a full moon. In silence we packed everything: sleeping bag, hot tea, candles, some food, a rug and a torch. We put on our boots, hat, mittens and a shawl.

We got into the car and went our way. It was dark, although the moon was there and it was silent. Most people were inside. The trees along the little roads guided us as true keepers. The little roads winded through the countryside. When the tar ended, we parked the car on the sandy path, got our stuff and started walking.

The torch lit the path in front of us as we walked our way in the deepest silence, accompanied by the stars and the moon. We were heading towards the place I knew so well. The place that had comforted me, encouraged me, supported me and embraced me. The place that gave me joy, gratitude and stillness.

There, we put down the rug, wrapped the sleeping bag around us and sat down. The vast stillness touched us. The ground and the sky were one in darkness.

In silence we sat, drinking the still darkness, sunk into the depths within. The first waves came. A ripple, then a wave and then a tidal wave. Streams of tears, sounds, movement came and went away.

Feeling took the place of wanting. Surrender took the place of fear. Gratitude took the place of uncertainty. Abundance poured out of each pore. The heathland received all tears, all emotions. The ground on which we sat, flooded fear with gratitude and uncertainty with surrender.

You and me sat silently with tears on our cheeks. The shooting stars didn’t make a single noise. The first clouds started to hide the moon. Darkness surrounded us more and more. We looked at each-other. Our tears glittered in the candle light. We drank our hot tea.

The waves disappeared together with the light of the stars and the moon. What was left was stillness that came to shore, here, in this heat-land.

We rose, folded the rug, packed the basket and rolled the sleeping bag. In silence we walked back to where we came from. The wind blew in our face now and the first snowflakes stayed on our coats.

Then nature started to whisper: “You didn’t come to me; I came to Me”, the branches swept in our face. “You didn’t come to me; you came to You”, the grass hummed. “You didn’t come to me; I was always here “, the heat-land rustled. Never were these sentences so familiar as they were now on this Christmas Eve. Tears filled my eyes: tears of recognition; tears of stillness; tears of gratitude. And you, you were there: inseparably connected and not connected. You went with me, all days and nights. You walk with me: all nights and days. There is no difference between you and me. There is no you and me. There only is …

Receive

When clouds asided
In that dark night
And thousand stars appeared
I held you and I felt
The tears pour out of you

The ground on which we sat
Received all dripping tears
And went on with the whisper
That woodsoil’s meant for that

When clouds appeared again
And rain began to fall
The tears were every raindrop
And raindrops every tear …

True

True to you
begins as truth in me

Truth in me
begins as Grace in me

True to who I am in essence
has never begun and has never ended

Truth is what I already am